My mother-in-law brought over a couple watercolors done by a friend of hers. Both of them feature seagulls, otherwise known as the rats of the sea. One of them doubles up the foulness by having a seagull perched on a pair of McDonald's golden arches. I can't help but imagine the picture captures the glowing moment right before the seagull swoops down and starts picking at a half-eaten Big Mac in the dumpster.

Apparently the intent is that they be displayed in my daughter's bedroom.

What's next? A watercolor of a rat chewing on a cat skull?

New rule: we don't accept "art" as gifts.